Its Like Whatever You Know

“mommy, can I-“

“not unless u get 100000 notes on a post, honey”

andrewpauldost:

i want dogs to be allowed at more places and i want children under 6 to not be

nico-diangelcakes:

nico-diangelcakes:

So i have this giant pencil right

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I think we all know where this is going.

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the amount of people saying that they were expecting me to shove it up my ass is alarming

drowningheta:

gallifreyburning:

giraffepoliceforce:

I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.

They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.

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Canada’s time to shine has come
teacher: where is your homework
me: queued

falconbrunch:

teasing the boys in the club like

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25vernon:

best line ever 

25vernon:

best line ever 

nippled:

no mom, I can’t make my bed, I’m too busy being a wicked cool bad ass rebel punk also can you make me a grilled cheese

koolaidicecubes:

goldenclitoris:

watch out i m a professional flirter *winks with both eyes*

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loki-waywardson:

ok but seriously my favourite prehistoric animal is definitely andrewsarchus
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THEIR JAW WAS A METER LONG

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LOOK AT THAT SIZE COMPARISON
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BUT THAT’S NOT THE BEST BIT
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YOU SEE THEIR CLOSEST LIVING RELATIVES AREN’T BEARS
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OR WOLVES
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NO
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THEIR CLOSEST LIVING RELATIVES
imageARE SHEEP
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